Stress Free Wedding

Yes! You Can Have A Stress Free Wedding

By Janine H. Burns, D.D.

Does having a stress-free wedding sound too good to be true? Many couples assume the stress they experience before their wedding can be attributed to the simple fact of living in a stressful world, wherein the only solution involves evoking a stoic, grin-and-bear-it attitude. But this need not be the case. After officiating many weddings over the years, I’ve been able to hone in on the challenges where stress most often develops. The following are some simple but powerful skills to effectively remedy this; skills any couple can use to create a stress-free wedding.

Stress is the energy we feel in our bodies as a result of focusing upon fears, anxieties, and negative projections. It’s a malady that robs you of the joy, peace, love and contentment that you rightly deserve while preparing for your wedding celebration. Stress often begins when you allow your mind to race and think disastrous thoughts. As you start to imagine all sorts of things that could go wrong, the feeling of stress and uneasiness descends upon you. Too much stress can lead to burn out. Rather than sacrifice your mental energy to negative ideas, speculation and projections, make an agreement with yourself and your partner to stay focused on the positive.

“Dr. Burns was AMAZING! I will start by stating I am a neurotic bride! Was so worried about every little thing… Janine helped calm my nerves for everything. We were going to write our own vows and I was stressed!!!She gave me 3 different options on how to start them and even offered to help write them. The week of the wedding I found something I liked and she made it fit into our ceremony and I LOVED it. She is understanding and makes the experience stress free … Renewing vows I will be using her again!!!!!”

- Jen McGuire

Focus on the present moment. Stop thinking about what happened yesterday and don’t worry about tomorrow. To paraphrase a wise old saying ‘the past is over, the future not yet here; in this moment is the gift, that’s why it’s called the present.” Remember, you’ve hired skilled, experienced wedding professionals: caterers, florists, musicians, DJs, photographers, etc. who know how to work things out and get things done. As you keep this in mind you’ll be able to relax more, treasure your special day, and enjoy the gifts of the present moment.

Your breath is a powerful force that can be used to control the energy of your emotions. Many techniques have been clinically proven to not only relax your body but also calm your mind. Look for further information and actual Breathing Exercises in Wedding Tips #7 & #12.

It’s important to be flexible with your nuptial needs and desires. Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we’d like them to. Stuff happens. After performing weddings for over twenty years, I’ve witnessed a lot of stuff happen at weddings from the rings getting lost, to forgetting the marriage license, to the bride’s dress getting torn. If an issue arises, respond with a positive attitude rather than reacting viscerally. Be a thermostat instead of a thermometer and respond rather that react to your circumstances.

“Dr. Burns is always well-prepared and of course, she loves doing weddings. On the wedding day, my wife was very stressed and nervous. However, Dr. Burns was able to calm her down… Even my friends and relatives are still talking about how nicely executed the wedding was.”

- Michael Fong

If you prefer an event or circumstance be a certain way rather than demanding that it must be a certain way, you won’t lose your peace of mind, power, or poise. The ancient Chinese book of wisdom the “Tao de Ching” says that in a great storm, the mighty oaks, so rigid and strong, will crack and perish whereas the humble willow, so supple and flexible, will bend and survive. Preferring (a circumstance be a certain way) is a method to promote flexibility over rigidity, one that will keep your mind nimble and clear enough to handle any challenge that may arise. You will find further information in Wedding Tips #5 & #6.

As you practice these simple skills you will be well on your way creating a stress-free wedding. Your wedding dreams and goals will be more effortlessly achieved and you will experience greater peace of mind during the planning process. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials and may your lives together be filled with love, peace, joy, prosperity and happiness. Enjoy the process of getting married!

Excerpted from Wedding Tips © Dr. Janine H. Burns 2014


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